We can be in a big hurry to move through change, to gain closure, to put it all behind us. But is this really the case? Change, whether it is perceived as good or bad requires us to leave something behind. When we graduate we leave behind some rather happy times as a student. When we marry we leave the single life, and even though we prefer to be married (most days), we have to recognize that we have chosen a new life over the old.
The old life is not forgotten, nor do we want to put it behind us. The experiences we have had made us who we are and this time of separation from the old prepares us to embrace the new wholeheartedly. In the case of promotion or new responsibilities, we need to try on the ‘clothes’ of the new job, work in them, make them our own. This is not instantaneous. Just as a car cannot turn 90° at speed, or go from forward to reverse without a pause it is the same in our lives.
At a time of loss, change, or gain, we experience a slack moment, a fallow time, to rest and reconnoiter before moving on. This transition can be short or long and is entirely dependent on each of us and the circumstances we are managing. The point is we are the sum total of our experiences, we don’t leave them behind but carry them forward in a new way, even as we move in a new direction, changed but still the same-always in transition.