Have you ever felt like fear or anger was driving a conversation?

We’ve all been there. Anger and fear are natural, but they shouldn’t control us. Here’s why:

1. Emotions color our perception. When we’re upset, we often hear what we want to hear and can’t hear what was actually said.

2. Fear can make us defensive. We can’t clearly hear until we feel heard ourselves.

3. It is hard to access the prefrontal cortex (our thinking part of the brain) when we are dysregulated. Have you ever calmed down after a heated argument and thought, “I wish I had said _____!” You literally weren’t able to think of that response in the moment.

4. Anger can lead to hasty responses that impact conversations now and in the future. You have probably heard the analogy of taking back words, like putting toothpaste back in its container.

But here’s the kicker: embodied fear doesn’t just affect our conversations. It can weaken our immune system, increase anxiety, and even raise our risk of heart issues.

How do we take back control?

Marshall Rosenberg, the guru of Nonviolent Communication, provided this guidance: “We need to receive empathy to give empathy.”

Next time you’re in a heated discussion:

· Pause

· Breathe in ease and radiate care

· Listen with curiosity, not judgment

Remember, understanding your emotions is the first step to better communication. It’s not about suppressing them; it is about channeling them effectively.

Stacey Bevill, PCC, BCC, MPM®
🎯 We develop rising stars and 💪 stop headbutting on Lean/Six Sigma Teams. Are you ready for better? GCS supports Individuals and Organizations: Leadership Development, Employee Engagement, Team Building & Assessments

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